My Dear Shayanne

For the girl who has always held a special place in my heart.

My beautiful girl,

If there's one thing I want you to understand, it's why it's you. Why, out of everyone I could meet, you're the person I find myself wanting to give my heart to.

And honestly, I don't think it comes down to just one thing. It's everything that makes you who you are.

You have one of the most genuine hearts I've ever known. There's something so pure about the way you care, the way you listen, and the way you make someone feel loved without making them feel like they have to earn it. From the very beginning, you made me feel something I hadn't really experienced before.

When we first met, I was so insecure about myself. I genuinely didn't think much of myself at all. But somehow, in the space of one date with someone I'd only just met, I went from feeling so little about myself to feeling like the most loved man in the world.

You made me feel seen. You made me feel wanted. And you made me feel like I could be myself without constantly worrying whether I was enough.

I don't think you fully understand how much that means to me.

And then there's your smile. My goodness, your smile. ❤️

I genuinely cannot explain what it does to me. It's like there's this light in you that can reach someone even when they're having a difficult time. Sometimes, all it takes is seeing you smile for something inside me to feel a little lighter.

And your eyes, pretty girl. There's a kind of comfort in them that I can't quite put into words. I could look into them and feel like the world had finally slowed down for a moment. They have this quietness about them that makes me feel at peace.

Your voice is another problem entirely. 😭❤️

I don't think you realise how easily it makes me smile. I can be perfectly fine, hear your voice, and suddenly find myself blushing like I've never spoken to a girl in my life. And your laugh? I think it might genuinely be one of my favourite sounds in the world. I could listen to you laugh and probably forget whatever I was worrying about five minutes earlier.

But as much as I love your smile, your eyes, your voice, and all the little things about you that make me melt, those aren't the reasons I choose you on their own.

It's your mind. I love that I can have a proper conversation with you, that you're intelligent, that you have your own thoughts, and that talking to you can go from us laughing at something completely ridiculous to us opening up about things that actually matter. I love that I can yap away and you take the time to listen. I love how you encourage me, how honest you are, and how you make me feel like what I have to say matters.

You have this way of making me feel comfortable enough to be the person I actually am. Not some version of myself trying to impress you. Not someone pretending to have everything figured out. Just me.

And I think that's one of the most special things about you.

Because I've realised that I don't just want someone who makes me happy. I want someone I can be myself around. Someone I can laugh with, talk to, learn from, be vulnerable with, and trust with the parts of me that I don't show everyone.

With you, I feel like I can do that.

And when I think about the time we spent apart, I realise that I never truly stopped wondering about you. For those three years, I wondered whether you were okay, whether life was treating you kindly, and what kind of person you were becoming. Even when we weren't speaking, a part of me still cared about you.

Then we started talking again, and there was this feeling I can't quite explain. We could joke around, talk about our lives, open up to each other, and somehow it felt natural again. Like there was still something familiar between us, even though we'd both grown and changed.

And seeing the woman you've become has honestly left me in awe. You're growing into someone who knows herself better, knows what she wants, and has so much to offer the world. I admire that about you. I admire you.

But something else happened that meant more to me than I can properly explain. When I finally told you the truth about what happened back then, you listened. You understood, and you forgave me.

I know forgiveness doesn't erase the past, and I would never expect it to. But the fact that you could approach something that once hurt you with the maturity and kindness you showed me made me appreciate your heart even more.

It reminded me of the kind of person you are.

And that's what I mean when I say it's you.

It's not simply because we have history. It's not because I'm holding onto some perfect memory of who we used to be. It's because of who you are now, who you've always been at your core, and how I feel when I'm with you.

It's the girl whose messages I look forward to waking up to. The girl whose picture can make me smile before my day has even properly started. The girl I can spend hours talking to, laughing with, and somehow still want a little more time with when the conversation ends.

It's the girl who encourages me to push harder, who makes me feel wanted, and who reminds me that I have so much more to give than I sometimes believe.

It's the girl whose laugh makes my cheeks hurt from smiling, whose voice makes me blush, whose mind keeps me interested, and whose heart makes me want to be careful with what she's trusting me with.

It's you, sweetheart. All of you.

And I want you to know something else, too.

When I tell you I love you, I want those words to mean more than something I say when everything is going well. I want to love you when you're tired, when you're upset, when you're angry, when you're sick, when you're having a terrible day, and when you don't feel like being the happiest version of yourself.

I want to be someone you can talk to honestly, even when the conversation is difficult. If we disagree, I want us to work through it rather than let pride get in the way. If I make a mistake, I want to own it, learn from it, and do better. If something is bothering you, I want you to feel safe enough to tell me.

I don't expect us to be perfect. I want us to be honest.

I want you to have your own life, your own friends, your own goals, and your own freedom. I want you to feel loved without feeling controlled, trusted without feeling watched, and supported without feeling like you have to ask permission to be yourself.

And if you ever need me, I want to be someone you can turn to. Someone who listens when you need to talk, holds you up when things feel heavy, and reminds you that you don't have to carry everything alone.

I want to keep learning how to love you in the ways that actually make you feel loved. I want to celebrate your wins, encourage your dreams, laugh with you over the smallest things, and be there for the moments that aren't so easy.

I can't promise that I'll never make a mistake. I'm human, and I'm still growing. But I can promise that I want to take responsibility for my mistakes, communicate with you, and keep putting genuine effort into becoming the best boyfriend I can be.

And I want us to take our time. To get to know each other properly, to build something healthy, and to let what we have grow naturally. I want us to choose each other because we're happy with what we're building, not because either of us feels pressured to stay.

I want you to always feel free to tell me how you feel, even if those feelings are difficult for me to hear. Your happiness and honesty matter to me, and I would never want you to feel trapped by my feelings for you.

Because loving you means respecting you as your own person, too.

I might not be the richest man in the world right now, and I've still got a lot of growing and building to do. But I know the kind of love I want to give you. I want it to be patient, loyal, honest, affectionate, supportive, and real. I want my actions to keep showing you that I mean what I say.

I want to make you happy, not by pretending I can give you a perfect life, but by being someone who genuinely tries to make your life a little better.

And if you ever wonder why I choose you, I hope you remember this letter.

I choose you because I admire you. Because you make me feel seen. Because you bring me peace and excitement in the same breath. Because I can laugh with you, talk to you, learn from you, and be myself with you.

I choose you because, after all this time, I'm grateful that our paths have crossed again. Because I want to discover all the things we haven't experienced together yet. Because I want to know the person you're still becoming, and I want you to know the person I'm working to become, too.

I choose you because I don't just want the butterflies and the pretty moments. I want the conversations, the growth, the ordinary days, the ridiculous jokes, the late-night calls, the little traditions, and the memories we haven't made yet.

I want the chance to build something with you, properly and patiently, one day at a time.

And maybe that's the simplest way I can explain it.

Out of all the things I could tell you about why it's you, it comes back to this:

You make me want to give someone my whole heart, and you make me want to become someone who knows how to take care of that kind of love.

So, my sweet girl, if you ever question how special you are to me, please know that you don't have to do anything extraordinary to deserve my appreciation. You don't have to be happy all the time, have everything figured out, or be anything other than yourself.

You are already someone I admire so deeply.

And I'm so, so happy that I get to know you again.

It's you, sweetheart. Not because I know exactly what the future holds, but because you're the person I want to discover it with. ❤️

Always with love,

Your favourite yapper. 🤍